It wasn't easy.
It was a fair process needing to work through that pain, of only having one child, of losing two and not seeing any possibility of having more.
It took determination on my part to leave that part of my life alone. To trust that God truly knew what is best for us and our household.
And I have to say.. he truly does.
I LOVE children. I love having them around. i like their noise, their curiousity and their busyness.
But you know what else I like?
Serving and meeting the needs of my family.
Ad you know what I have learned?
I do that best with just one or two. And sometimes the needsof my family compete.
Makes me feel busy in my head and like I don't know what to do. I can't listen to two people at once, I can't meet divergent needs at the same time, I just can't....
So trusting God in this matter has taught me that he does indeed know me best.
Deliberately not being selfish and doing this activity for a hubby that needs doing but he can't due to time constraints, health issues, or what. It's a deliberate choice you know to do things for others. Deliberation is what I need as I seek out materials that would best suit my son and his needs in schooling. Deliberation in seeking out friends for a child raised on his own.
I am so often content to just do my own thing and lead my own life and let everything else be on the borders of that. I can live in my own world so easily. Just lost and alone there, and be content.
But God has called me to more than that. And he keeps calling me out.
He has called me trust him as he's given me ONE child.
He has called me trust him as my husband pastors as elderly church.
He has called me trust him as I deal with theft in my rabbitry.
He has called me trust him as he gives me real friends.
It all takes deliberation and determination to follow him as he DOES know what he is doing with me and through me and in me.
And that just leads me just doing stuff... stuff that I hope shows others who God truly is.
How does deliberation and determination affect your life?
What is your story?
This post will be linked up with Marcy's Blogging through the alphabet series. This week our letter is D.