Conflict within the church will happen like it or not. It's natural part of living in a world with people saturated with sin. Should it be better within a church? Yes. But you can't get away from the fact that sin affects EVERYTHING about us.
What should one do therefore when faced with conflict?
Clarify concerns and responsibilities.
- are you a player or a spectator?
- If you are a spectator PRAY. That is what your primary role is. It is not to gossip or speculate or add fuel to the fire. It is to pray. If you do sin in your role as spectator, it becomes your responsibility to repent of this.
- The prayer is for two reasons. First to prevent worry. Second to be specific, fervent and accompanied with thanksgiving (Phil 4:6)
- if you are a player, pray first. (just like the spectator). Then clarify what role you play in the conflict and what your responsibility is to resolve it.
- Consider what your concern is but realize that's not your primary role. Your job is to figure out what your role is and how to resolve it. it's up to the other party to do the same. If you are concerned about being forgiven for instance, all you can do is YOUR part in asking for forgiveness, being willing to reconcile, and being kind-hearted... it is the responsibility of the other party in how they respond.
- We need to remember that we don't have to always agree with each other BUT we do need to have an attitude of humility before the Lord and each other.
Keep a pure heart
- Are your thoughts focused on truth?
- Are you acting and thinking respectfully?
- Are you promoting godly morals?
- Are you meeting God's approval?
- more questions to ask were listed. :)
Respond with faith
- How does respond with faith? By remembering what faith is. It's the "believing the word of God and acting upon it, no matter how I feel, knowing the God promises a good result" (p.169)
- Knowing the God will never leave us or forsake us in good or ill.
- Memorize scripture so you can always fall back on it, more easily since you've hidden it well in your heart.
Importance of Prayer
- Prayer can not be over-emphasized with how it important it is.
- Set aside time to pray regularly with your spouse
- Use the prayers of others when you can't think of words on your own.
- Become a part of a prayer group if you can, particularly with other pastors wives if you can, as it gives you common grounding for prayer.
Help our husband
- don't become embroiled in conflict. Just stay out of it and don't create them.
Loving God and Loving My Neighbour
- Be a person that breathes grace to those around her.
- Show your trust in God to all who you come in contact with