1. Realize everyone will go about this differently. Be YOU. Share your concerns with your husband. Make your home a haven. Figure out what your unique ministry will be. Don't compare yourself to others. Be YOU.
2. Set Your Husband Free. Manage the household on Sunday mornings so he can focus on his message and the people.
3. Totally Committed. Make sure your husband knows that you are 100% committed to him doing his job and doing it well. Stand behind him. Pray for him. Listen to him. Be his support system, the one who always has his back.
4. "Boulder" Opportunities. You know those rocks that creep up and can overwhelm? See them as opportunities, opportunities for God to work all things for good. God puts them altogether.. the hard, the good, the sad, the glad and he works them all for the good of those who love him and are called together for his purpose.
5. The Spirit's Replicating Ministry. It can be hard to share your husband. To have plans changed. To know he can't always be there. BUT God will teach us that he will provide for all our needs. He will indeed.
6. An "open" Palm. The advantage to having a pastor for husband is they tend to be able to order their days. They don't have to be gone 9-5 every day. They can choose to spend lunch with their families, they can be home for tea, they can work for set hours, or in today's digital world they can even work on the road as they attend events.
7. A Godly Balance: Husband do need to balance out their pastoral duties with their family duties. Sometimes the pastoral world needs to be shut off to be a boon to the family life. Balance is key.
8. Generous Hospitality. Be willing to welcome people into your home. Give them a sympathetic ear and a open kitchen.
9. A sympathetic High Priest. Be YOU. God made you and knows you full well. Work at being a good pastor's wife, but more importantly.. work out being the godly person that God has called YOU to be.
This chapter was SO not what I thought it would be about. :) And I'm still feeling a bit.. um.. huh? about it. I didn't expect a chapter focused on how to live in the limelight. I expected a chapter focused on how to share your husband with more people than sometimes you want to. This chapter did both...
I thought the points were good. About knowing that as a pastor's wife that life will be interrupted by your husbands job and that people will see what you do and how you do it more readily. I get that. It's hard to live where people can watch what you do. But you know what? People watch what you do ANYWAYS.
I know when I first was married that it was annoying if people commented on what they saw me doing or "tsked" about how I shouldn't be doing this as the "dominee's" wife. At times it was heartbreaking and my reaction was tear-filled. But as people like to say "I am stubborn". I chose to continue living my life. I CHOSE to make some adaptations in how I did things... because as a Christian woman I SHOULD NOT BE a stumbling block for others. NOT because I was the pastor's wife and should "be" a certain way. I had to make choices, every pastor's wife will need to make choices, just a every christian woman will need to make choices. What is the better way? To be a stumbling block or to meet a need?
That's what it comes down to for me.
Will I hold my ground?
I've done this. Sorry but it is not a "HAVE TO" to wear dresses to church on Sunday. Whether I wear dress pants or a dress or a skirt is not indicative of my relationship with God. It's clothes, covering my body, and they are clean and in good shape and the best that I have. PERIOD.
Will I make a change because it's better for my husband and better for his pastorate?
No ratty shorts, no shorts over a bathing suit while gardening out front, no barefeet in church.. NOT A PROBLEM. I will make those changes and not even bat an eye...particularly if you come and talk to me about it, and not say bad things "behind my back", Because it's called CARING for the sensibilities of others.
Will I explain WHY I do things in order to promote greater understanding?
For sure. I will help people understand why I tend not to go late on Saturdays.. I NEED to be and my introverted husband NEEDS to be refreshed for a busy Sunday. But without explanation it might come across as a NO I don't want to spend time with you. This is not what is wished to be conveyed.
Will I keep my mouth shut?
Definitely, definitely, definitely. Better to say nothing than to cause a kerfluffle right? :)