Being a pastor's wife comes "with high expectations to which you may feel pressured to conform. Sometimes those expectations will be biblically correct and wise; sometimes they will be unbiblical, unhelpful, and undeserved. Too often they will be based on subjective thinking shaped by societal norms mixed with cultural and geographical biases". P. 79
You need to know that if you strive to please everyone you will still disappoint someone.
"If all things were considered equal and you could function in the church as any other Christian, much of the scrutiny would cease. However, as a pastor's wife you are in a position that is more visible and therefore more vulnerable. While others be criticized in the same way, when it is directed at the pastor's wife, it has a heightened sense of weightiness." p80
God has given us his Word to help us discern what we should be about.
"There us only one whose expectations should drive your motives and actions. The bottom line is this ____ what does God expect ? What has God called you to be? " P. 81
Philippians 2:3-8 Jesus gave up his own rights to humbly serve others
Consider Jesus ' example
- When others clamoured for his attention, sometimes he just walked away. Matt. 14:22
- Jesus didn't give the answers others wanted to hear. Speaking truth in redemptive was. John 6:60-61,66
- Jesus didn't let himself be manipulated John 7:3-9
- Jesus didn't let himself be motivated but emotional outcries and expectations. John 11:6, 21
- Jesus didn't defend himself. Mark 15:3-5
- Jesus didn't 'perform' for others, just set about doing what his Father expected. Luke 23:8-9
- He did what God wanted him too even when challenged by friends. John 13:3-17
Remember that we, as believers, are "called to live in such a way that my life is a reflection of a sacrificial love for God and a desire to do his will."
1. Be confident in Christ Jesus
2. Be focused on your ultimate purpose
3. Be mindful of your calling and careful in your commitments
4. Be realistic about your limitations
5. Be discerning in dealing with expectations... To every yes there is a no.
6. Be hopeful in the midst of serving... Think positively of others they aren't out to get you
God has set us free. The only expectations that must truly meet are from God.
When I came to this church there were lots of expectations that greeted me.
Expectations that i wasn't very good at meeting.
Sometimes I let my feelings of injury get the best of me.
But I have learned over the years that I best serve God and this church using MY gifts and abilities.
AND it's funny... over time people have come to see that my heart is after God even if I don't do things the way it is expected.
Though, to my shame, I have at times sought my own way more than God's way.
It is not an easy life being seen by everyone, but it has made me, I think more of the person that God calls me to be. And THAT is a good thing. :)
Others in the Series:
Guarding how we communicate.
Putting first things first.