Can you believe I missed two five minute Fridays with Kate? Life has been rather busy so I was determined this week to follow through on this Friday's word. The word today is dear. You know the rules right? You find the word of the day, write on it for five minutes, no need to stress on being perfect.. just writing what comes naturally. Then you go link up and MOST IMPORTANTLY!!! Go back and encourage the person who linked up before. Easy peasy, a five minute moment out of life eh? :)
This blue-eyed handsome boy is my son. He is DEAR to me. Dear to my heart and life and body. He's a bit of a momma's boy (which is okay). He's kind, caring, compassionate, smart, creative, so not sporty, into minecraft and using words and talking a person's ear off. He is not a quiet lad (takes after his aunt that way).
When he was younger he had a hard time being able to vent his frustration so we taught him to issue an ARGH!!! as loud as possible. Just once. Just release that angst, just let it go and then move on. This helped him, but I THINK may lead to the current problem we are having with this bright, articulate (when he wants to be) lad in that he is still venting his frustration.. and that's what is it.. it's frustration not anger.. but he's lately been venting it in my face. Loud yelling at me.
I don't do loud yelling well and so have been shutting down when he does it but that has not been helpful. Either to me or to him and just gets dad vexed so we end up with a household of unhappy people. NOT a good scene.
So I've been talking more clearly and demonstrating better behaviour for what to do when frustrated.. such as taking time away from others, getting out, doing something different and other such things.. I've always done this but have become more intentional about TELLING my boy what I am doing. AND to motivate him to change his behaviour we have introduced the fine art of writing lines. If he is yelling for no good reason (when simply talking to me quietly would suffice) he writes out lines such as "a soft answer turns away wrath", "son don't despise your mother's teaching" and such helpful phrases rather than focusing on the negatives.
AND if his loud outbursts take away from our homeschooling time (yes I am now timing them), he loses time doing something he enjoys doing (like playing on the xbox).
It's interesting.. in two weeks he's learning to talk quieter and to explain his thought processes better AND i haven't had to take time from the xbox!
God is gracious to me in this parenting venture. He reminds me all the time of how he forgives me, how I am dear to him and how he works in and through me... and now I can use that to teach me boy.
T'is a good thing yes? :)
When he was younger he had a hard time being able to vent his frustration so we taught him to issue an ARGH!!! as loud as possible. Just once. Just release that angst, just let it go and then move on. This helped him, but I THINK may lead to the current problem we are having with this bright, articulate (when he wants to be) lad in that he is still venting his frustration.. and that's what is it.. it's frustration not anger.. but he's lately been venting it in my face. Loud yelling at me.
I don't do loud yelling well and so have been shutting down when he does it but that has not been helpful. Either to me or to him and just gets dad vexed so we end up with a household of unhappy people. NOT a good scene.
So I've been talking more clearly and demonstrating better behaviour for what to do when frustrated.. such as taking time away from others, getting out, doing something different and other such things.. I've always done this but have become more intentional about TELLING my boy what I am doing. AND to motivate him to change his behaviour we have introduced the fine art of writing lines. If he is yelling for no good reason (when simply talking to me quietly would suffice) he writes out lines such as "a soft answer turns away wrath", "son don't despise your mother's teaching" and such helpful phrases rather than focusing on the negatives.
AND if his loud outbursts take away from our homeschooling time (yes I am now timing them), he loses time doing something he enjoys doing (like playing on the xbox).
It's interesting.. in two weeks he's learning to talk quieter and to explain his thought processes better AND i haven't had to take time from the xbox!
God is gracious to me in this parenting venture. He reminds me all the time of how he forgives me, how I am dear to him and how he works in and through me... and now I can use that to teach me boy.
T'is a good thing yes? :)
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